Siblings Who Grew Up First

Growing up, I watched TV shows and movies where siblings were inseparable. They shared secrets, fought over clothes, sat on each other’s beds late at night, and were basically best friends by default, simply because they were growing up at the same time. But for me, that wasn’t my reality, and for a long time, I didn’t quite know how to feel about that.

There’s a significant age gap between me and my sisters. Between me and my middle sister, there are eight years, and between me and my eldest sister, there are eighteen years. They were already in very different stages of life while I was still figuring out how to be a kid. By the time I was seven years old, my eldest sister had already moved out of the house. I remember that clearly — not as a dramatic moment, but as a shift. It felt like there wasn’t much of a relationship to miss because it never had the chance to fully form in the way I saw on screen.

Because of that gap, I often felt like an only child. There were no typical sibling arguments about borrowing clothes without asking, no shared school experiences, no inside jokes that came from growing up side by side. While I’d hear stories from my friends about their siblings being annoying, I sometimes wished I had someone around to annoy me at all. There were moments when it got lonely, especially because it was hard to relate to people who were ahead of me in life.

At the same time, having two older sisters shaped me in ways I didn’t full understand until later. Watching them navigate adulthood gave me a sense of independence very early on. I learned how to be comfortable on my own and how to grow without relying too heavily on others my age — or even my own family. In some ways, I matured faster, simply because I was surrounded by people who were already there.

It’s important for me to say this: just because there’s an age gap doesn’t mean there’s a lack of love. The love was always there — it just looked different. It wasn’t built through shared childhood chaos, but through admiration, distance, and eventually, understanding.

For me, one of the hardest parts of having such a big age gap was realising that connection takes more time when you’re living in different worlds. When I was a kid worrying about homework and cartoons, and my siblings are thinking about careers, relationships, and moving out, it can feel like there’s an invisible wall between you. Although that wall isn’t intentional, it’s very real.

As we’ve grown older, that wall has slowly come down — and surprisingly, it was my nieces and nephews who helped bring it down the most. They became a bridge between us. Because of them, we spend a little more time together, talk more and laugh more. I get to see my sisters not just as “the older ones”, but as parents, as people, and as siblings in a new way. Our relationship feels warmer now, more present, and more mutual.

Looking back, my experience didn’t match the version I saw on TV, but that doesn’t mean anything was wrong — it was just different. It came with loneliness at times, but also independence. Distance, but also love. And now, growth.

There are still moments when I wonder what it would’ve been like to grow up side by side, sharing more of those same memories. But I’ve learned our story was just written differently. I’ve said the word “different” a lot while writing this post, but that’s what it was, and it took me so long to accept it.

So yeah, different. But that doesn’t make it an less meaningful.